Two and a Half Men

2003–2015

ComedyRomance馃嚞馃嚙 English馃嚭馃嚫 United States

Watch on

Peacock Premium Peacock Premium
YouTube TV YouTube TV
Philo Philo
USA Network USA Network
Peacock Premium Plus Peacock Premium Plus
IMDb
tt0369179
Production
Warner Bros. TelevisionChuck Lorre ProductionsThe Tannenbaum Company

Seasons

Season 1

  • E0 Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot
  • E1 Pilot 2003-09-22 路 23m
  • E2 Big Flappy Bastards 2003-09-29 路 21m
  • E3 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell 2003-10-06 路 21m
  • E4 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap 2003-10-13 路 21m
  • E5 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump 2003-10-20 路 19m
  • E6 Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? 2003-10-27 路 21m
  • E7 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake 2003-11-03 路 21m
  • E8 Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful 2003-11-10 路 19m
  • E9 Phase One, Complete 2003-11-17 路 21m
  • E10 Merry Thanksgiving 2003-11-24 路 21m
  • E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor 2003-12-15 路 20m
  • E12 Camel Filters and Pheromones 2004-01-05 路 21m
  • E13 Sarah Like Puny Alan 2004-01-12 路 20m
  • E14 I Can't Afford Hyenas 2004-02-02 路 21m
  • E15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick 2004-02-09 路 21m
  • E16 That Was Saliva, Alan 2004-02-16 路 21m
  • E17 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats 2004-02-23 路 20m
  • E18 An Old Flame with a New Wick 2004-03-01 路 21m
  • E19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You 2004-03-22 路 19m
  • E20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark 2004-04-19 路 21m
  • E21 No Sniffing, No Wowing 2004-05-03 路 21m
  • E22 My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet 2004-05-10 路 21m
  • E23 Just Like Buffalo 2004-05-17 路 21m
  • E24 Can You Feel My Finger 2004-05-24 路 21m

Season 2

  • E1 Back Off Mary Poppins 2004-09-20 路 30m
  • E2 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls 2004-09-27 路 30m
  • E3 A Bag Full of Jawea 2004-10-04 路 30m
  • E4 Go Get Mommy's Bra 2004-10-11 路 21m
  • E5 Bad News from the Clinic 2004-10-18 路 21m
  • E6 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance 2004-10-25 路 21m
  • E7 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana 2004-11-08 路 21m
  • E8 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers 2004-11-15 路 21m
  • E9 Yes, Monsignor 2004-11-22 路 22m
  • E10 The Salmon Under My Sweater 2004-11-29 路 21m
  • E11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos 2004-12-13 路 21m
  • E12 A Lung Full of Alan 2005-01-03 路 21m
  • E13 Zejdz z Zmoich Wlos贸w 2005-01-17 路 20m
  • E14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut 2005-01-31 路 21m
  • E15 Smell the Umbrella Stand 2005-02-07 路 21m
  • E16 Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? 2005-02-14 路 21m
  • E17 Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam! 2005-02-21 路 21m
  • E18 It Was Mame, Mom 2005-03-07 路 21m
  • E19 A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise 2005-03-21 路 21m
  • E20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey 2005-04-18 路 21m
  • E21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On 2005-05-02 路 21m
  • E22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother 2005-05-09 路 21m
  • E23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab 2005-05-16 路 20m
  • E24 Does This Smell Funny to You 2005-05-23 路 20m

Season 3

  • E1 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts 2005-09-19 路 22m
  • E2 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover 2005-09-26 路 22m
  • E3 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark 2005-10-03 路 22m
  • E4 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs 2005-10-10 路 22m
  • E5 We Called It Mr. Pinky 2005-10-17 路 21m
  • E6 Hi, Mr. Horned One 2005-10-24 路 21m
  • E7 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop 2005-11-07 路 22m
  • E8 That Voodoo That I Do Do 2005-11-14 路 21m
  • E9 Madame and Her Special Friend 2005-11-21 路 21m
  • E10 Something Salted and Twisted 2005-11-28 路 22m
  • E11 Santa's Village of the Damned 2005-12-19 路 22m
  • E12 That Special Tug 2006-01-09 路 22m
  • E13 Humiliation Is a Visual Medium 2006-01-23 路 22m
  • E14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded 2006-02-06 路 22m
  • E15 My Tongue Is Meat 2006-02-27 路 22m
  • E16 Ergo, the Booty Call 2006-03-06 路 22m
  • E17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer 2006-03-13 路 21m
  • E18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler 2006-03-20 路 21m
  • E19 Golly Moses, She's a Muffin 2006-04-10 路 22m
  • E20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro 2006-04-24 路 21m
  • E21 And the Plot Moistens 2006-05-01 路 21m
  • E22 Just Once with Aunt Sophie 2006-05-08 路 22m
  • E23 Arguments for the Quickie 2006-05-15 路 22m
  • E24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite 2006-05-22 路 21m

Season 4

  • E1 Working for Caligula 2006-09-18 路 22m
  • E2 Who's Vod Kanockers 2006-09-25 路 22m
  • E3 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress 2006-10-02 路 21m
  • E4 A Pot Smoking Monkey 2006-10-09 路 21m
  • E5 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility 2006-10-16 路 21m
  • E6 Apologies for the Frivolity 2006-10-23 路 20m
  • E7 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head 2006-11-06 路 21m
  • E8 Release the Dogs 2006-11-13 路 22m
  • E9 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour 2006-11-20 路 21m
  • E10 Kissing Abraham Lincoln 2006-11-27 路 21m
  • E11 Walnuts and Demerol 2006-12-11 路 21m
  • E12 Castrating Sheep in Montana 2007-01-08 路 21m
  • E13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer 2007-01-22 路 21m
  • E14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami 2007-02-05 路 22m
  • E15 My Damn Stalker 2007-02-12 路 22m
  • E16 Young People Have Phlegm Too 2007-02-19 路 21m
  • E17 I Merely Slept with a Commie 2007-02-26 路 22m
  • E18 It Never Rains in Hooterville 2007-03-19 路 21m
  • E19 Smooth as a Ken Doll 2007-04-09 路 21m
  • E20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot 2007-04-16 路 21m
  • E21 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous 2007-04-23 路 22m
  • E22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag 2007-04-30 路 22m
  • E23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin 2007-05-07 路 21m
  • E24 Prostitutes and Gelato 2007-05-14 路 20m

Season 5

  • E1 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom 2007-09-24 路 20m
  • E2 Media Room Slash Dungeon 2007-10-01 路 22m
  • E3 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo 2007-10-08 路 21m
  • E4 City of Great Racks 2007-10-15 路 22m
  • E5 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat 2007-10-22 路 22m
  • E6 Help Daddy Find His Toenail 2007-10-29 路 21m
  • E7 Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room 2007-11-05 路 20m
  • E8 Is There a Mrs. Waffles? 2007-11-12 路 20m
  • E9 Tight's Good 2007-11-19 路 20m
  • E10 Kinda Like Necrophilia 2007-11-26 路 22m
  • E11 Meander to Your Dander 2008-03-17 路 22m
  • E12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh 2008-03-24 路 22m
  • E13 The Soil is Moist 2008-03-31 路 20m
  • E14 Winky-Dink Time 2008-04-14 路 22m
  • E15 Rough Night in Hump Junction 2008-04-21 路 21m
  • E16 Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty 2008-04-28 路 22m
  • E17 Fish in a Drawer 2008-05-05 路 21m
  • E18 If My Hole Could Talk 2008-05-12 路 21m
  • E19 Waiting for the Right Snapper 2008-05-19 路 22m

Season 6

  • E1 Taterhead Is Our Love Child 2008-09-22 路 22m
  • E2 Pie Hole, Herb 2008-09-29 路 22m
  • E3 Damn You, Eggs Benedict 2008-10-06 路 22m
  • E4 The Flavin' and the Mavin' 2008-10-13 路 21m
  • E5 A Jock Strap in Hell 2008-10-20 路 22m
  • E6 It's Always Nazi Week 2008-11-03 路 22m
  • E7 Best H.O. Money Can Buy 2008-11-10 路 22m
  • E8 Pinocchio's Mouth 2008-11-17 路 22m
  • E9 The Mooch at the Boo 2008-11-24 路 22m
  • E10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited 2008-12-08 路 21m
  • E11 The Devil's Lube 2008-12-15 路 22m
  • E12 Thank God for Scoliosis 2009-01-12 路 20m
  • E13 I Think You Offended Don 2009-01-19 路 22m
  • E14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie 2009-02-02 路 21m
  • E15 I'd Like to Start with the Cat 2009-02-09 路 21m
  • E16 She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime 2009-03-02 路 20m
  • E17 The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? 2009-03-09 路 20m
  • E18 My Son's Enormous Head 2009-03-16 路 21m
  • E19 The Two Finger Rule 2009-03-30 路 20m
  • E20 Hello, I am Alan Cousteau 2009-04-13 路 22m
  • E21 Above Exalted Cyclops 2009-04-27 路 21m
  • E22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box 2009-05-04 路 20m
  • E23 Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth 2009-05-11 路 20m
  • E24 Baseball Was Better with Steroids 2009-05-18 路 21m

Season 7

  • E1 818-jklpuzo 2009-09-21 路 21m
  • E2 Whipped Unto the Third Generation 2009-09-28 路 20m
  • E3 Mmm, Fish. Yum. 2009-10-05 路 19m
  • E4 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator 2009-10-12 路 20m
  • E5 For the Sake of the Child 2009-10-19 路 21m
  • E6 Give Me Your Thumb 2009-11-02 路 20m
  • E7 Untainted by Filth 2009-11-09 路 22m
  • E8 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. 2009-11-16 路 20m
  • E9 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair 2009-11-23 路 21m
  • E10 That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room' 2009-12-07 路 20m
  • E11 Warning, It's Dirty 2009-12-14 路 19m
  • E12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste 2010-01-11 路 22m
  • E13 Yay, No Polyps 2010-01-18 路 20m
  • E14 Crude and Uncalled For 2010-02-01 路 21m
  • E15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche 2010-02-08 路 22m
  • E16 Tinkle Like a Princess 2010-03-01 路 21m
  • E17 I Found Your Moustache 2010-03-08 路 21m
  • E18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day 2010-03-22 路 21m
  • E19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave 2010-04-12 路 18m
  • E20 I Called Him Magoo 2010-05-10 路 21m
  • E21 Gumby with a Pokey 2010-05-17 路 21m
  • E22 This Is Not Gonna End Well 2010-05-24 路 21m

Season 8

  • E1 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud 2010-09-20 路 21m
  • E2 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer 2010-09-27 路 21m
  • E3 A Pudding-Filled Cactus 2010-10-04 路 21m
  • E4 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers 2010-10-11 路 21m
  • E5 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel 2010-10-18 路 21m
  • E6 Twanging Your Magic Clanger 2010-10-25 路 21m
  • E7 The Crazy Bitch Gazette 2010-11-01 路 19m
  • E8 Springtime on a Stick 2010-11-08 路 21m
  • E9 A Good Time in Central Africa 2010-11-15 路 21m
  • E10 Ow, Ow, Don't Stop 2010-11-22 路 19m
  • E11 Dead from the Waist Down 2010-12-06 路 21m
  • E12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead 2010-12-13 路 21m
  • E13 Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup 2011-01-03 路 21m
  • E14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs 2011-01-17 路 21m
  • E15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak 2011-02-07 路 21m
  • E16 That Darn Priest 2011-02-14 路 19m

Season 9

  • E1 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt 2011-09-19 路 21m
  • E2 People Who Love Peepholes 2011-09-26 路 21m
  • E3 Big Girls Don't Throw Food 2011-10-03 路 20m
  • E4 Nine Magic Fingers 2011-10-10 路 21m
  • E5 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro 2011-10-17 路 20m
  • E6 The Squat and the Hover 2011-10-24 路 21m
  • E7 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets 2011-10-31 路 19m
  • E8 Thank You for the Intercourse 2011-11-07 路 21m
  • E9 Frodo's Headshots 2011-11-14 路 21m
  • E10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes 2011-11-21 路 21m
  • E11 What a Lovely Landing Strip 2011-12-05 路 20m
  • E12 One False Move, Zimbabwe! 2011-12-12 路 21m
  • E13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion 2012-01-02 路 20m
  • E14 A Possum on Chemo 2012-01-16 路 20m
  • E15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack 2012-02-06 路 21m
  • E16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy 2012-02-13 路 20m
  • E17 Not in My Mouth! 2012-02-20 路 19m
  • E18 The War Against Gingivitis 2012-02-27 路 21m
  • E19 Palmdale, Ech 2012-03-19 路 21m
  • E20 Grandma's Pie 2012-04-09 路 21m
  • E21 Mr. Hose Says 'Yes' 2012-04-16 路 21m
  • E22 Why We Gave Up Women 2012-04-30 路 21m
  • E23 The Straw in My Donut Hole 2012-05-07 路 21m
  • E24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! 2012-05-14 路 21m

Season 10

  • E1 I Changed My Mind About the Milk 2012-09-27 路 21m
  • E2 A Big Bag of Dog 2012-10-04 路 20m
  • E3 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt 2012-10-11 路 21m
  • E4 You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For 2012-10-18 路 21m
  • E5 That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam 2012-10-25 路 20m
  • E6 Ferrets, Attack! 2012-11-01 路 20m
  • E7 Avoid the Chinese Mustard 2012-11-08 路 21m
  • E8 Something My Gynecologist Said 2012-11-15 路 21m
  • E9 I Scream When I Pee 2012-11-29 路 20m
  • E10 One Nut Johnson 2012-12-06 路 21m
  • E11 Give Santa a Tail-Hole 2012-12-13 路 22m
  • E12 Welcome to Alancrest 2013-01-03 路 22m
  • E13 Grab a Feather and Get in Line 2013-01-10 路 21m
  • E14 Run, Steven Staven! Run! 2013-01-31 路 21m
  • E15 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It 2013-02-07 路 21m
  • E16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby 2013-02-14 路 21m
  • E17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries 2013-02-21 路 21m
  • E18 The 9:04 from Pemberton 2013-03-07 路 21m
  • E19 Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon 2013-03-14 路 21m
  • E20 Bazinga! That's From a TV Show 2013-04-04 路 21m
  • E21 Another Night with Neil Diamond 2013-04-25 路 21m
  • E22 My Bodacious Vidalia 2013-05-02 路 21m
  • E23 Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped 2013-05-09 路 22m

Season 11

  • E1 Nangnangnangnang 2013-09-26 路 21m
  • E2 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball 2013-10-03 路 21m
  • E3 This Unblessed Biscuit 2013-10-10 路 22m
  • E4 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank 2013-10-17 路 21m
  • E5 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 2013-10-24 路 21m
  • E6 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants 2013-11-07 路 21m
  • E7 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie 2013-11-14 路 21m
  • E8 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. 2013-11-21 路 21m
  • E9 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer 2013-12-05 路 21m
  • E10 On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! 2013-12-12 路 21m
  • E11 Tazed in the Lady Nuts 2014-01-02 路 21m
  • E12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. 2014-01-09 路 21m
  • E13 Bite Me, Supreme Court 2014-01-30 路 21m
  • E14 Three Fingers of Cr猫me de Menthe 2014-02-06 路 21m
  • E15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin 2014-02-27 路 21m
  • E16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper 2014-03-06 路 21m
  • E17 Welcome Home, Jake 2014-03-13 路 21m
  • E18 West Side Story 2014-04-03 路 21m
  • E19 Lan mao shi zai wuding shang 2014-04-10 路 22m
  • E20 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia 2014-04-24 路 21m
  • E21 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot 2014-05-01 路 21m
  • E22 Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead 2014-05-08 路 21m

Season 12

  • E1 The Ol' Mexican Spinach 2014-10-30 路 21m
  • E2 A Chic Bar in Ibiza 2014-11-06 路 21m
  • E3 Glamping in a Yurt 2014-11-13 路 21m
  • E4 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight 2014-11-20 路 21m
  • E5 Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. 2014-11-27 路 21m
  • E6 Alan Shot a Little Girl 2014-12-04 路 21m
  • E7 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner 2014-12-11 路 21m
  • E8 Family, Bubl茅, Deep-Fried Turkey 2014-12-18 路 21m
  • E9 Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey 2015-01-08 路 21m
  • E10 Here I Come, Pants! 2015-01-15 路 21m
  • E11 For Whom the Booty Calls 2015-01-22 路 21m
  • E12 A Beer-Battered Rip-Off 2015-01-29 路 21m
  • E13 Boompa Loved His Hookers 2015-02-05 路 21m
  • E14 Don't Give a Monkey a Gun 2015-02-12 路 21m
  • E15 Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2 2015-02-19 路 18m
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